I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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