Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize