so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize