Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize