if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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