You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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