i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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