He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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