There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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