The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize