I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize