How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize