some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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