Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just shotgunned beers for America
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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