I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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