I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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