The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize