i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We smell like vodka and hangover
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