if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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