You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize