OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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