I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize