In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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