I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize