Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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