yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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