I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize