I wish i was in the wii world.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize