This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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