Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize