We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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