Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Randomize
Follow @tfln