chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize