I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i will never coherently bang her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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