PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize