it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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