theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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