I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize