So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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