I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize