Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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