So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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