Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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