i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize