this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
time to smoke my breakfast
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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