Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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