We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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