Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize