They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
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