She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize